Choosing what “family” means to you

❤️ Sometimes it seems as though the loudest voices in society are the extroverts & big social groups…

👥 Because they’re more socially focused, we often see their social lives the most

👀 Which can make it seem like everyone is that way.

But, they’re not.

😶‍🌫️ The introverts are often quietly keeping to themselves

❤️ You’re allowed to choose what family & connection means to you.

✅ Yes those that want you to live into their values won’t like it

✅ You can handle people not liking you… after all, you’re an introvert… what’s the worst that can happen?

➡️ You end up left alone with only other introverts who get it

✅ Alone is better than people who want you to be something you’re not

✅Connection is only good for you if it is emotionally safe & supportive connection

🧠 When studying social psychology, I discovered that groups are neither good or bad for us…

💡 What makes a group good or bad for us, comes down to the specific attributes of that group.

❌ So a toxic group, is bad for you.

✅ A respectful group, is good for you.

Either way… you don’t need something to be “bad”, in order to decide you would prefer something else.

✅It’s enough that you recognise other things are higher on your values list & live according to that, and let others do the same.

✅ The people that care about your mental health will support you in doing what is best for you

❌ The people that wanted you to fulfil their needs might call you selfish for not pleasing them… the irony

✅ More confirmation that you made a good decision to take space.

😊 You don’t need everyone to like you or be happy with you.

❤️ You only need 1-5 healthy, safe relationships.

❗️ Living by your values might come with grief: grief of losing people’s good opinion, grief of losing the “good girl” people pleasing image, discomfort of change, discomfort of getting of people being upset with you…

➡️ Being someone you’re not to please others is hard.

➡️Doing what is best for your well-being, but upsets those who wanted you to play the part they expected from you, is hard too.

✅ It’s about choosing your hard

#introvert #familydynamics #mentalhealth #dysfunctionalfamilies #narcissiticabuse #psychology

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