New inner world, new dinner conversations


Last night I found myself at an inspiring dinner table, engaged in truly stimulating conversation. So stimulating in fact that I am, in part, writing this blog as a way to capture my take aways...


Have you ever participated in a conversation and walked away from it knowing that something about you has forever changed, now that you have this new knowledge? That something new "clicked" during that interaction... a different level of awareness or perspective that has shifted you?


Perhaps you've experienced that sensation during a coaching session or a conversation with a friend, or while listening to a podcast, watching a youtube video, reading a book...?


You know, those moments where words just land in your system as a sensation of "truth"... you get these full body tingles and you feel like you were absolutely meant to be here, hearing these words, and learning what you're learning?


So that was dinner last night for me... which was essentially a double date of myself and my husband having dinner with another couple who are madly in love.


The energy of our table was a bubble of oxytocin, love, inspiration, connection, incredible stories of progressive, trail blazing, radical acts of alignment and courage... people dropping quotes and truth bombs. Truly strange synchronicities occurring... for example, at one point, someone, to make their point, started repeatedly drawing an infinity symbol on the table. Which blew my mind because 2 weeks ago, seemingly out of the blue I felt compelled to start moving my head repeatedly in the motion of an infinity symbol while receiving the inspiration for my next presentation on love, which is a process that follows the pathway of an infinity symbol.


After years of presenting with zero content on or mention of an infinity symbol, I suddenly receive the inspiration two weeks ago, I present on it a week later (last Sunday), and a mere few days later I find myself at a table with someone explaining the concept of "darshan" while repeatedly outlining an infinity symbol on the table.


At one point in the evening, I commented that when I am designing a presentation (for example "3 keys to getting the love you want"), I have been taught to always seed in a "phrase anchor"... which is that one statement that sums up the entire presentation, and that if I had to give our dinner conversation last night a phrase anchor, that it would be this:


"The Lover Has No Choice" - Rumi


Apparently that's a well known phrase by Rumi, and I only heard it for the first time last night. Or, perhaps my mind only decided it was important for me to pay attention to last night. Either way, those words truly landed in my system with all the feels... and became the "phrase anchor" for the evening.


So, why am I sharing any of this with you? Why am I writing a blog about it?


Well, 2 main reasons.


  1. The first is to illustrate the point that "your vibe attracts your tribe".

  • That being your true self, and showing up in the world as an embodiment of your truth, draws the right people into your life.

  • That your alignment magnetises in satisfying connection.

  • Years ago, when I was living from "should do"s and "have to"s and people pleasing... I felt terribly lonely. I wondered where "my people" were. Was there anyone that was like me in life? I distinctly remember saying to my husband at one point that he was the only person who truly knew who I was, and that if I actually showed who I was to the world and turned up "authentic", that no one would like me or want to be around me.

  • I was living from a mask, and it was blocking the connection that would truly satisfy me.

  • One day, inspired by Brene Brown's sentiment that we can only experience true belonging when we belong to ourselves... I made a new decision.

  • That decision was to face my fear of being rejected by the world, and to try out speaking my truth, only saying "yes" to things that were a genuine "yes"... and to risk being "hated for what I was, instead of loved for what I wasn't".

  • This didn't happen easily overnight, mind you.... gosh bucket loads of fear came up.

  • People in my life certainly reacted intensely to me showing up differently. People who had benefited from me being a people pleaser, were very upset that I was actually putting myself first now... it was hard. It was scary.

  • So, I sought out support.

  • I found the tools to move through the fear...

  • I got a big enough "why". I was doing this for "little Elise", for my inner child who actually wanted to just be herself. I was doing it for adult Elise who felt terribly lonely living from a mask... from what people wanted me to be.

  • So, I went inward each time I felt scared and triggered by the reactions and disapproval of others, and I alchemised that fear into wisdom.

  • I chose, to trust myself.

  • Was it easy, no, was it worth it, yes.

  • I now get to have incredible people just "pop up" in my life seemingly out of thin air, and invite me out to dinners for incredible conversation that feels deeply satisfying... all because they found me from my showing up on social media as "unfiltered me".

  • Life rewards the brave. I shifted my inner world, I chose to live my truth no matter the consequences, and life is bringing me a totally new reality... one that actually feels good to me.

  • This topic was also part of the conversation last night... the other couple, both having achieved just incredibly outstanding extraordinary things in their lives, shared this exact sentiment: that the key to life is to show up as yourself and that will "draw" the right people into your life. It really works.

  • And also, many of us get to a point in life where we feel we have "no choice" but to finally start living a life true to who we really are. "The Lover Has No Choice".

  • Sometimes life corners you into a situation where you have to choose to finally love yourself, or to perish. For someone last night that moment came as a cancer diagnosis, for me that moment came as a desperate lonely rockbottom in the midst of early motherhood (and from being told that I was pre-diabetic and likely only moments away from some version of a terrible diagnosis if I didn't turn things around).

  • In these moments, if any part of you loves yourself, you have no choice but to "choose you" to survive. "The Lover Has No Choice".

  • The thing is... you can choose to live your truth BEFORE you are cornered into having no choice.

  • In life, we can learn through insight or pain.

  • If you take the "nudges" from life before it becomes an emergency... you can live through insight rather than through pain.

  • Working with a coach is phenomenal at helping you access the "insight" version.


2. The second reason I am sharing this is to capture some take aways for me to continue to contemplate, and you might like to, too. Sharing, is caring :) They are:

  • For people to feel & connect to your energy, and to be communicating from your alignment & truth, focus on speaking from your heart, gut & body, rather than your head. This will radically change your life. Communicate and connect with others from your body, heart & gut... show up and present from this place too.

  • Darshan: an energetic exchange where we mix energetically in a infinity loop with another person, our energy mixing with theres. Often the dominate energy will lift the other energy into their frame. This can be how healing works. It might explain why many women get love in their lives after being simply in my energy or connecting with me.. as I am resonating as someone who feels loved and supported, and that strong "darshan" pulls others into that energy. If you have an energetic resonance (a "darshan") that is healing for others, it will amplify the more you act with an openness and willingness to share it and to be of service.

  • "The Lover Has No Choice" - Rumi. When "you know, you know". Those that boldly take courageous action... it first starts with a feeling of "knowing" that is what life wants from you, that it's inevitable. This is a sensation I experienced when I realised I was being "called" to be a coach. It felt like it wasn't a "choice", rather it was what life wanted from me, it was how life wanted to work through me. I had no choice... I knew. "The Lover Has No Choice". This sensation came only after a few years of alchemising my "mask in meaning", my "wounds into wisdom", and returning to "living my truth.

  • To get to alignment, to get to a place of "knowing", sometimes we have to first remove all the "blocks" preventing us from accessing our "truth" and our "knowing". That was my journey to alignment...not knowing, just meeting my wounds and alchemising them. That's why I often spend many sessions going through closed eye processes with 1on1 coaching clients where we are accessing their triggers and alchemising their wounds into wisdom.


Ok, so that's what has been on my heart to share with you today. Join the conversation in the comments if you feel called to.


As always, a free 1on1 strategy call can be booked in with me here.

A free spot to my next presentation on attracting love can be book in here.


With love & belief in your truth,

Elise Peck

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